Sexual Violence Policy, Scenarios + Disclosures

For all disclosures – responding to the person disclosing an experience of sexual violence on campus.

• Assure the person reporting that all disclosures and complaints are taken seriously and that all parties will be informed of the limits of privacy and confidentiality (as per the Sexual Violence Policy: Section 6).
• Assure them retaliation will not be tolerated.
• Take every statement about potential harassment very seriously, even if shared in a hallway conversation. Just because it doesn't “look” like something concerning to you does not mean it does not need to be addressed.
• Respond in a way that is supportive, non-judgmental, non-shaming.
• Create a safe space/environment where the person feels heard.

Listen without judgment to create a safe environment for the person to talk about their experience.

• Allow the person to share what they are comfortable with, without interruption.
• Avoid asking questions for more information or "why" questions; just listen.
• Acknowledge the courage it has taken to talk about it.
• Be empathetic of the impact it's having on the person.
• Express your care and concern.

Let the survivor decide who to tell about the assault.

For many survivors, hearing that someone they trusted broke their confidentiality can feel like a secondary trauma. While you may have certain obligations related to your role and responsibilities that limit your ability to maintain confidentiality, you can still be conscious of who you share this information with and to what degree.

Be transparent and clear about your obligations and what you will be doing with the information you receive.

Most people who experience sexual violence are worried they won't be believed or that they will be blamed for what happened. Your role is not to judge - all you need to do is fully support the person.

Show you believe them by making simple statements such as:

• "Thank you for telling me.
• "I'm sorry that happened to you.
• "I believe you.

Acknowledge and emotionally validate that the experience is upsetting for the person. Use statements such as:

• “I am so sorry you are dealing with this”
• “I can see this is upsetting for you”
• “I understand this was upsetting / uncomfortable”
• “I know it takes a lot to come forward and talk about this”

Avoid asking questions that invalidate the distress and seriousness of what is being disclosed such as:

• “why does that bother you?”
• “what was wrong with that?”

Let go of assumptions.

What feels supportive to you might not to someone else.

Sometimes support means providing resources, such as how to seek medical attention, where to report what happened, or finding a safe place to stay. But often listening without judgement is the best way to support a survivor.

Assess whether there is any immediate danger for the person disclosing and take action to mitigate any danger*.

• *For faculty and staff, refer to A Guide to Assisting a Colleague Distress
• *For students, refer to Assisting Students in Distress

Recognize and respect your own boundaries and limits. It’s hard to hear the story of someone you care for or love being abused. Understand that you may have your own reactions, and you deserve support too. The University’s EFAP program has clinicians experienced with sexual violence who can offer support and guidance to faculty, staff and their eligible dependents.

Recognize that healing can take years, with both advances and setbacks. The path to recovery can and will look different for each survivor.

The following scenario is provided to leaders to demonstrate what a disclosure might look like as well as a supportive response. The scenarios are written from the perspective of an individual making a disclosure about the events that transpired.

A male professor is sitting with a female student to discuss the grade she got on an assignment. He sits close to her to look at the assignment and puts his arm around the back of her chair as they talk. Later, while they are still discussing the paper, he puts his arm around her shoulders.

DO’S FOR RESPONDING:

• Give the student space to talk, respond in a way that is supportive, non-judgmental, non-shaming.
• Create safe space/environment by taking in private and where the student feels heard.
  • Acknowledge and emotionally validate that this is upsetting for the student.
  • Take the experience and disclosure seriously.
• In communicating with the student – you can provide emotional validation by saying things:
  • “I can see this is upsetting for you”.
  • “I understand this was upsetting / uncomfortable”.
  • “I know it is hard to come forward to talk about this. I appreciate you coming forward to disclose this experience”.
• Be cognizant of your role. Remind the student of your role, describing your responsibilities with this situation:
  • Your role is to understand what happened, connect the student with supports*, ensure their safety, let them know of their options for disclosing (this conversation) and filing a formal complaint.

AVOID:

• Questions about the student’s experience that minimize or discounts the experience.
  • DO NOT say.
    • “why was that upsetting for you?”.
    • “why does that bother you?”.
    • “what was wrong with that?”.

The following scenario is provided to leaders to demonstrate what a disclosure might look like as well as a supportive response. The scenarios are written from the perspective of an individual making a disclosure about the events that transpired.

A female administrative staff supervises another female colleague who reports to her. The supervisor has asked her team member to go to lunch with her for several weeks and has now started asking the team member out for drinks after work. The team member has mostly said yes to lunch but has started to turn down invitations for drinks. The Supervisor continues to ask her team member more insistently about going out after work and ‘won’t take no’ for an answer. She starts to criticize the team member’s work in ways she has not done before the team member began turning down her request to go out after work.

DO ‘S

• Ensure you are in a private space.
• Take the disclosure of interactions and behaviour seriously.
• It is important that the disclosure is received in a compassionate and supportive manner, regardless of the recency of the experience.
• Provide assurance of your support, confidentiality of situation.
• Thank them for trusting you with this information and having the courage to speak to you about it.
• Clarify your role and responsibility.
• State the University’s commitment to a respectful workplace.
• Explain the individual’s option to make a complaint.
• Assure the individual that they have the right to assert themselves by saying “no”, regardless of the pressure they are experiencing.
• Provide reassurance that unjust criticism regarding her work activities is not acceptable.
• Offer supportive resources and the University’s Employee and Family Assistance Program information.)

AVOID

• Minimizing, judging, belittling.
• DO NOT say or imply.
  • “Didn't you see this coming?”
  • “Why did you go to lunch so often?”
  • “Don't worry about it, this is a small thing.”