Five Things I Learned About Managing My Money

Just six years ago, Ellyce Fulmore, ’18 BKin, now a financial educator and author, was struggling to pay her bills and dreaded checking her sparse bank account.

Although she finished a bachelor’s degree in kinesiology, she had decided not to pursue graduate studies in physiotherapy. Without a career path and staring down $35,000 in debt — a combination of loans and high-interest credit — Fulmore felt ashamed and unable to stop the downward spiral.

But after a journey of financial re-evaluation and personal discovery — which included a diagnosis of ADHD and coming out as queer — Fulmore, now 29 years old, has established a healthier relationship with money, runs her own financial education company, Queerd Co, and recently wrote a book, Keeping Finance Personal. She says she realized traditional personal finance approaches weren’t very personalized. “I began to realize how much those pieces of my identity had affected my financial decisions,” she says.

Since sharing her “shame-free and trauma-aware” approach on social media, she quickly gained a large following. Though much of her material is aimed at a neurodivergent audience, Fulmore, author of Keeping Finance Personal, shares five finance tips anyone can use.

1: Understand the intersectional nature of finance

Fulmore says the way we view and manage money is strongly tied to our identity. Race, gender, sexuality, mental health, trauma, disabilities and more affect how we deal with money, she says. Understanding “your money story” — your beliefs and behaviour around money — is key to developing a plan that works. “There isn’t a right way to manage money… it’s really about what’s going to work best for you.”

2: Don’t blame yourself

Whatever your financial situation, Fulmore wants you to ditch the shame. Know that you’re not to blame. Instead, realize that you’ve landed here through a storm of personal, generational and social factors. “Understanding that it’s not all on you can be really freeing,” she says. Once you do that, she says, you can start taking steps to get on your feet.

3: Gamify your approach

If you find finances stressful or boring, Fulmore suggests amping up the fun factor. “Because I’m neurodivergent, I struggle with a lot of traditional financial education things,” she says. “What I had to do is essentially gamify the whole process — find ways to make it exciting, to reward myself, to make it colourful and fun.”

One way to spark motivation is with a savings challenge, Fulmore suggests. Compete with a friend or partner to see who can save the most in three months, for example. Or try a chart, where you earn a sticker for saving a certain amount, with a predetermined reward for filling the chart.

If you tend to absorb things visually, Fulmore says a savings tracker that allows you to digitally or physically colour your achievements can also inject fun into your finances.

4: Find other ways to generate excitement

As someone with ADHD, Fulmore says she now realizes her impulse spending was due to her brain seeking a hit of dopamine. “The anticipation of going shopping gives you dopamine. The actual shopping trip gives you dopamine. The purchasing gives you dopamine,” says Fulmore, whose podcast Dopamine Dollars is geared toward a neurodivergent audience who wants to improve their finance habits.

Instead of pulling out your credit card, Fulmore suggests developing a “dopa-menu” — a list of enjoyable activities that won’t deplete your bank account. Appetizers, for example, include bite-sized activities, such as going for a short walk or having a cup of coffee. Mains are lengthier activities, such as working on an art project or watching an episode of your favourite show. Keeping a list of options can help curb your appetite to spend, she says.

5: Take care of your mental health

And while taking care of your money, don’t forget to prioritize your mental health, says Fulmore, who has dealt with anxiety and depression. Consider pursuits that boost your mental wellbeing as monthly essentials, whether those are therapy or a yoga class, she says.

On top of that, Fulmore suggests putting aside a small amount each month for a “mental health sinking fund” that you can tap into when you’re really struggling. Use this fund to cover expenses such as extra therapy sessions or takeout orders when you’re unable to cook, she says. Set up automated payments so you don’t forget to contribute. “If you’re not taking care of your mental health, that’s going to negatively impact your ability to manage your money.”