YouAlberta
“I’m not gonna bother making friends. I’m just gonna focus on studying and stick with the friends I’ve always had.” Sound familiar? Maybe some of you felt similar sentiments as I did: a fear of putting yourself out there, an overwhelmed feeling from being confronted by university life, or a general apathy towards developing a social life beyond what you’ve already established.
Let’s set the background: the year is 2020, right in the thick of the COVID-19 pandemic when we were all still trapped in the little bubbles of our homes. Coming out of high school, I was burnt out, overextended by the immense amount of pressure I exerted on myself. Thus, tired and ready to take a step back, my plan was: stick to the friends you have, study hard, and do the bare minimum. And with the height of the pandemic, I thought that that would facilitate this ultimate plan to relaxation and freedom.
How wrong I was.
Retrospectively, the isolation from the pandemic profoundly impacted my well-being. I was left with a huge uncertainty about my future: living trapped in my room at home, at times it seemed I was directionless and was stuck in this stationary position, making no progress in life. Many milestones, like my high school graduation and being a first-year exploring campus, were viciously snatched from me, leaving me feeling like my growth had been stunted. I felt alone, lost and stuck at what seemed to be a dead end in my life.
Ironically, in spite of the pandemic, I was unable to suppress my inner social butterfly and somehow managed to forge new friendships in my online classes. And I am incredibly grateful as my friends were, in many ways, the saving grace in this prolonged period of loneliness. Through Discord, I was able to interact and form connections with my peers who in turn formed a support system and helped me navigate through pandemic life. What once seemed like an endless tunnel became a bright path with hopes and prospects. And though I was still wary of having a social life, these initial positive experiences subconsciously made me far more receptive to the idea of change.
Flash forward to 2022: the pandemic is letting up, and the world is slowly opening up. During this time, I was complacent and didn’t feel a need to challenge or extend myself beyond the routine I had now established for myself. This all changed when a TA who had helped me in my Japanese class told me that the club she was a part of, KGK: East Asian Studies Undergraduate Students’ Association, lacked executive applications. While I had heard about KGK, truth be told I hadn’t attended any of the meetings, but I thought to return the favour I’d try applying as president, putting my best foot forward with no expectations.
And funnily enough, I got the position.
While it was never a part of the plan, I was determined to do my best in my new role: though COVID had wiped out attendance numbers, I resolved to focus our team’s efforts on the basis of student organizations: connection and community. Of course, this would have been impossible without the help of my incredible executive team and through our hard work, we managed to more than double our member numbers from the previous year. However, these members are not just numbers; they are people, and it was through KGK that many of these people managed to find their people, whether it be new friends or just a crowd that they could feel comfortable in. And while the journey creating this environment has been arduous arduous, it has been incredibly fulfilling and also allowed me to find not only friends, but family. The intimacy and kinship I feel amongst my team and club members, the comfort I find in our clubroom which has become a familiar home, and the happy experiences that have been created by KGK will surely become formative memories of what was once a drab university life.
So although you may have reservations about the university social life, I compel all of you: put yourself out there and break the routine! As intimidating as it may seem, once you pass that hurdle, the people you meet and the friendships you forge will undoubtedly open up a whole new world and bring you new happiness and experiences you may otherwise never get outside of university. Get involved with your community by joining a club! Whether it’s at the beginning of the fall semester or the end of the winter one, it’s never too late to go out there and attend a meeting. Try your best to converse with others; KGK, as I’m sure is the same for any other club, would welcome you to our family with open arms. And most importantly, make friends and connect yourself with others! Your social health, as well as your physical, mental, and academic health, are all crucial and affect each other, so by serving one, you serve yourself holistically.
Ultimately, I sincerely hope that if you gain anything from reading my story, it is solidarity knowing that there are others who also have had doubts, inspiration seeing how positive the possibilities are, and confidence to take that first step. And should you choose to take that first step into that club meeting, nervous and unsure, know that I, as well as many others with similar experiences and mentalities as you, stand with you as you take that first step. With an open mind and some resolve, I hope you will be able to experience the joys I’ve experienced in my friends who inspired me to write this article, which is a love letter to them and my club. Perhaps those sentences from the beginning of the article that you may have thought will transform into new sentiments:
“I’m so glad I made friends. I’ve found my people, my friends, my family.”
