YouAlberta
To some, a barber is just a person who cuts their hair. To many, a barber can be a brother/sister, mentor, life-coach, comedian and friend. But this relationship doesn’t happen right away. It’s a relationship that takes time, commitment, trust, loyalty and, in some cases, a lot of your money. But why? Your barber is the one that gets you looking right and feeling like the best version of yourself. And, for some unexplained reason, your skin clears up after getting a haircut. Your relationship with your barber is a very unique one. They are the only ones who can hold a razor to your neck and have you still feeling safe.
A friend of mine had come to me, troubled, saying that he needs to change barbers. I asked him "why the need for such a drastic change? Your barber has been taking care of you for the last five years? Why now?" He said that there was a new guy that he has seen around who he thinks might just be way better. He said he was ready to make the change. His plans were to give this new guy a try, then go back to his regular barber and compare results. I immediately shot down the idea. I explained to him that if he wasn’t careful, his regular barber would notice. After all, no one would know his head better than his barber. He agreed and from there, we strategized on how to break up with his barber.
Breaking up with your barber is not as simple as not coming back to their shop. When you’ve seen someone regularly for years and have built a great mutual respect, it can be difficult to just stop seeing them all together. (Yes, I'm still talking about barbers.) Not to mention, if you decided to just stop and you see your barber out in the community, at a mall, sports event, wedding or wherever, it would be extremely awkward to see your barber with your fresh new haircut that someone else gave you.
Here’s what we came up with:
Analyze the situation
Before you make any rash decisions, take a look at your current situation. Is it worth leaving? Are you okay with not seeing your barber as regularly as you do? Are you sure this new person is in it for the long haul? Without answers to this question, I wouldn’t recommend making any concrete decisions. If you are sure, you’re ready to move to the next step.
Look for a clean break
This is the easiest way to get rid of your relationship. If your barber is deciding to switch professions, is moving out of town or to a new shop, if their line up is getting too long, or if they are going on a long vacation (to the point where you’ll need a cut in between), then you have just found your way out. This method will allow for no hard feelings and you’ll be able to keep that mutual respect and you can happily move on to your next barber. If this doesn’t work for you, try the next step.
Be open and honest
You have to be honest with your barber and explain where they are coming up short. Is it their attention to detail, how they cut your hair or if they haven’t just picked up on your style? Either way, you have to communicate exactly where you’re being let down, otherwise, you aren’t given them a fair shot. After this, you’re ready for the next step.
Give them another chance or don’t crumble
After your conversation with your barber, you either have to give them another chance or just walk away from the situation. If you are giving them another chance, give them a fair shot. If you are deciding to walk away when your barber asks you for another chance, don’t go back because of sympathy but because you want to give the relationship another chance. Don’t crumble at their ask. Regardless of what your choice is, you're ready for the final step.
Offer to “Stay Friends”
This may sound cliche but you could always stay friends whatever that means to the two of you. If you are still getting your haircut after giving your baber another chance, then your relationship continues as normal. But, if you are wanting to end the relationship, assuming it’s not too “painful” for you or your barber, you can remain friends and continue your relationship outside of the barbershop.
If you are breaking up with your barber, I hope you keep this all in mind and that you find what you are looking for in your next relationship.
About Nathaniel
Nathaniel is a fifth year BA student double majoring in Economics and Political Science as well as double minoring in Philosophy and International Studies and has completed the Arts Work Experience Program. He is passionate about Equity, Diversity and Inclusion and serves as the student representative on the Arts CEDI committee. Nathaniel enjoys spending time with family and friends, reading, binge watching Netflix and playing basketball in his spare time.