Dear Maddi: How do I stop avoiding my struggles with speaking English?
Jason Murray - 14 March 2025
Psychologist and guest author Jason Murray answers a student's question about how to turn avoidance into action when you’re trying to learn English. Credit: Adobe Stock
Dear Maddi,
I am struggling with English as my second language. I can't express myself as clearly as I can using my native language. I feel so upset and I start to avoid using English.
This is a very common problem for me. I am negative if I feel I may fail. Instead I escape and then don't have motivation. I am just tired. I want to change.
Signed,
No Power
Dear No Power,
It’s a brave and exciting thing to come to Canada and study in a second language! I hope you can take a moment to acknowledge your courage, and appreciate the challenge you've accepted. It’s an understandable response to avoid something you are finding difficult. We all avoid sometimes - like when we are feeling overwhelmed - as a way to cope.
The key is to not let avoidance become habitual, because an important strategy to improving your English proficiency is increasing your exposure to English every day, both in and outside of university. That means reading, writing, listening, and speaking in English as much as you can. Here are some things to consider:
Classes. Attend your lectures. The exposure to English, and specific academic language and words, will pay off in the long run. You might feel shy to contribute comments or ask questions in English during class, but do it as best you can. Try taking class notes in English as a way to practice writing. When studying, practice reading and “thinking” in English. You will not be able to do everything in English, but do what you can with the goal of slowly increasing over time.
Socialize. Use social events, and small opportunities in your daily life on and off campus, as a chance to practice English. Say hello to a new classmate, and try some small talk with them. For example, introduce yourself and ask them their name, how they are, their program or major, etc. Hungry on campus? Practice ordering food or drinks in English. Want help navigating the maze of pedways from DICE to SUB? Practice asking a stranger for directions! Are you getting groceries at the store and can’t find something specific you need? Practice asking for help in English! There is no “academic pressure” when practicing English in a social setting, so try to just have fun with it.
Join a Practice Group. The University of Alberta has lots of opportunities for students to meet as a group with the intention of practicing English. Here are two examples: The University of Alberta International English Conversation Club, and the Arts English Conversation Club. In these types of groups, you are not alone in your challenges to learn and speak more English. Plus, you get to socialize and make new friends. If you wanted a practice group off campus, the Edmonton Public Library hosts a variety of conversation groups too.
Social Media, technology, and resources. A lot of people begin learning a new language through watching or listening to media and social media. My partner came to Canada as a young teenager and in the first year or so she learned a lot of her conversational English through watching sitcoms on TV. Now, you might binge on Netflix! Try subscribing to some social media accounts that might interest you and that are in English. There is a popular subreddit r/EnglishLearning community filled with learning tips, humorous memes about the notoriously difficult English language, and more. Quite a few apps are geared towards learning languages (like Duolingo), and apps that help translate, which are fine to use as aids. Lastly, the Edmonton Public Library has resources that might help: the language classes and conversation groups I mentioned earlier, free technology and media resources for learning English, and more.
What about Motivation? One thing to remember is that motivation comes to us through taking action in the areas of life we want to experience more motivation. We should not wait to feel motivated, but act to become more motivated. So if you want to feel more motivation to speak English, increase your practice opportunities in smaller steps that you can manage, a little at a time. As a learner, you are starting from a place of “knowing less” and working towards “knowing more”. So celebrate even small successes and efforts to practice more English! For other tips on improving motivation, read this “Dear Maddi” article for great suggestions.
Written by Jason Murray, guest author for Dear Maddi and Registered Psychologist at Counselling & Clinical Services. Edited by Suman Varghese Counselling & Clinical Services Satellite Psychologist for the Faculty of Arts and GPS.
Dear Maddi… welcomes submissions from students at the University of Alberta! Read more articles and submit your question online.
Articles
Dear Maddi: I am having a hard time staying motivated
Resources
University of Alberta International English Conversation Club
Arts English Conversation Club.