Dear Maddi: How do I manage the stress from school when I don't have time to relax?

Dear Stressed,

Thank you for your timely question! You’re not alone in feeling stressed. It is one of the most common reasons students seek help at Counselling & Clinical Services. Also our Managing Stress workshop is one of our most popular. According to a 2022 survey of over eleven thousand people, about 84% of Canadian university students report moderate to high levels of stress in the past month. Students reported the most distress was related to academics (90.6%), finances (81.4%), career (77.8%), and procrastination (74.4%) (American College Health Association, 2022). Notably, this survey found 84.5% of students were also dealing with three or more challenges in the past 12 months. In other words, most students are juggling several issues at the same time and are suffering from the cumulative effect of these stressors.

Your question highlights an important conundrum related to managing stress – time. When you’re stressed out, it can feel difficult to take time away from your to-do list, let alone to relax. However, learning to relax and learning to manage school stressors can be complementary tools to tackle stress. 

Let’s start with learning to relax. Remember, the goal of relaxation is to calm our nervous systems, not to solve our problems. Relaxation strategies can be a vital tool to help with stress if we understand their purpose, have reasonable expectations for what they offer, and know when to apply them. 

Thankfully, there are ways to relax even when we’re pressed for time. When we feel overwhelmed and can’t decide what to do first, it’s helpful to take a short break to calm our nervous systems. When we’re stressed or anxious we tend to take quick, shallow breaths. This change in breathing pattern can worsen the physical symptoms of stress and anxiety. The good news is we can deliberately practice relaxed breathing that is typically slow, gentle and more evenly paced. Changing the rhythm of our breathing signals our nervous systems to relax. We can then move out of “fight or flight” and our ability to think rationally and problem-solve returns. Interestingly, quick inhales turn on the “fight or flight” sympathetic nervous system whereas slow exhales turn on the “rest and digest” parasympathetic system. So if we slow our breathing and lengthen our exhales, we can calm our bodies. If you need support to practice paced breathing, there are a number of apps, youtube videos, audios, and even GIFs to help you!

Now let’s turn to managing stress. First, it is important to know what we mean by stress. One of the original stress researchers said, “Stress is a scientific concept which has suffered from the mixed blessing of being too well known and too little understood,” (Selye, 1980, p. 127). So here’s a few things to keep in mind:

• Stress is the body’s natural response to the perceived pressures and demands of our daily life (Goldstein & Kopin, 2007). 
• Our stress response largely depends on our internal and external capacities, and our perceived ability to cope with such demands. 
• Stress is an adaptive response that allows us to take action. For example, it can help us jump out of the way of an oncoming car, prepare for a job interview, or provide energy/focus during an exam. 
• When our capacities are within the limits of the demands, stress can feel pleasant or rewarding. However, when the demands exceed our capacities, stress can have some serious effects on our functioning and well-being.

Managing stress involves managing the things that are creating stress. Because stress involves a complex set of processes and experiences, it can be helpful to see “stress” as an experience that involves three components: 

1. Our stressors - internal and external demands and pressures
2. Our capacity/resources - skills, knowledge, social support
3. Our response - actions taken, bodily response

Here’s an analogy I find helpful. If you put your hand on a hot stove, what is the best way to manage the pain? Do you take a pain reliever or remove your hand from the stove? When we address the stressor effectively in a manner that will relieve pressure, our stress response will naturally lessen. That’s why identifying the stressor and not just dealing with the stress response is an essential component of managing our stress levels. Once you identify the stressor, you’ll have to figure out whether it's something that you can directly influence and what skills or strategies will help resolve the stressor. For instance, if I’m feeling stressed because I have two exams on the same day I may not be able to change the dates of these exams, but I can plan ahead my study schedule to ensure I’m giving myself adequate time to understand the material that will be tested. 

To help you figure out where you can intervene with your stress, try writing down a list for each component of stress:

1. List all your stressors. Ask yourself if you could reduce or modify them in some way.  
2. Identify what capacity and resources you have and what might be lacking. For example, if you realize you lack study skills, it could direct you to attend a workshop through the Academic Success Centre. 
3. Assess your response to your stressors. Notice your behaviours as well as what might be happening in your body. For example, if you notice a lot of tension in your body you might want to try a relaxation exercise. If you notice you’re avoiding certain tasks, you might want to create a plan to approach them. 

In closing, I encourage you to regularly practice self-care and remember that basic needs such as sleep, nutrition, movement, rest, and socializing are essential even at the busiest times. Sometimes people feel guilty for taking time to do these basic necessities, or to do activities that help them recharge, relax, and renew. However, when we regularly prioritize taking care of ourselves we are better equipped to meet various life demands and increase our capacity to handle unexpected challenges. 

Thank you for asking your question! I have no doubt many students are in the same boat as you, and I hope my suggestions offer you some guidance about how to manage school stress. 

Warmly,

Jasmine

Written by Dr. Jasmine Bajwa, Guest Author for Dear Maddi and Counselling & Clinical Service’s Satellite Psychologist for Engineering. Edited by Suman Varghese Counselling & Clinical Services Satellite Psychologist for the Faculty of Arts and GPS.

Dear Maddi… welcomes submissions from students at the University of Alberta! Read more articles and submit your question online.

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References

American College Health Association. 2022. American College Health Association-National College Health Assessment III: Canadian Reference Group Data Report Spring 2022. NCHA-III Spring 2022 Reference Group Data Report

Goldstein, D. S. & Kopin, I. J. (2007). Evolution of concepts of stress. Stress, 10(2), 109-120. DOI: 10.1080/10253890701288935

Selye, H. (1980). The stress concept today. In I. L. Kutash & L. B. Schlesinger et al. (Eds.), Handbook on stress and anxiety (pp. 127–129). San Francisco: Josey-Bass.