Dear Maddi: Coping with war from afar

How to manage stress and anxiety brought on by the war in Ukraine

Maddalena Genovese - 31 March 2022

In the latest issue of Dear Maddi, psychologist Maddi Genovese shares some tips to help manage stress and anxiety brought on by the war in Ukraine

In the latest issue of Dear Maddi, psychologist Maddi Genovese shares some tips to help manage stress and anxiety brought on by the war in Ukraine.

The University of Alberta Counselling & Clinical Services stands in solidarity with all those affected by the conflict in Ukraine. We offer our sincerest condolences to all University of Alberta students and their friends and family who are grieving. It is our hope that all those who are suffering feel supported by their community and loved ones. 

Find information about resources and support for our Ukrainian colleagues, students and scholars here. 

If you are struggling during this time, we encourage you to be caring and compassionate with yourself. It is completely understandable to feel unsettled. Many of us have little to no influence on the conflict in Ukraine, which can leave us feeling helpless. Focusing on what you can do, even if it is small can be helpful. Here are a few strategies to consider. 

  • Limit your news intake: While it may be important for you to stay informed, it can be unhelpful to become fixated on the news. It can quickly become draining and disturbing. Take breaks from watching, reading, or listening to news stories, including social media by asking yourself What are my limits? How much news is too much news for me? You don’t have to avoid the realities of what is going on, but limiting news consumption can help you mitigate obsessive checking and fear-escalating habits. If you are curious, check out this piece of research on the effects of repeated news exposure. 
  • TIP: Be mindful of your sources of news. With rampant misinformation circulating around the world, finding credible news sources is essential. Be critical of what you’re consuming, particularly on social media. 
  • Remember your resilience: Resilience is the ability to adapt in the face of adversity. You are resilient, and Ukrainians and their supporters are resilient people who refuse to give up. You can continue to build your resilience by relying on your support system, reminding yourself of what you can and cannot control, taking care of yourself and acknowledging your feelings.
  • TIP: Take care of your body. When you are stressed or grieving it’s easy to neglect your basic needs. Try to eat healthy, well-balanced meals, exercise regularly, get plenty of sleep, and avoid alcohol and drugs. Your body might appreciate further care such as taking deep breaths, stretching, or meditating. 
  • Connect with others: Reach out and talk with friends, family, or a professional about your concerns and how you are feeling. The pandemic has left many feeling depleted of touch and connection. Reach for your fellow humans, your friends and family and hold them close. 
  • Manage your emotions: When our suffering overwhelms us, the intensity of our emotions can feel unbearable. Learning to regulate your emotions can help you get through the worst moments. Reducing emotional intensity might involve slowing down your breath, moving your body, stepping outside, listening to music or redirecting your attention to a mundane task like cleaning. While it does not change the reality of the situation, it can help you feel more in control of your own emotions and allow them to pass.
  • TIP: Avoid telling yourself to “stop being anxious” or that you “shouldn’t be feeling this way” instead, try normalizing how you are feeling and respond to your anxiety with something like this “It’s normal to feel anxious right now. There is a lot here that makes me feel uncertain. Let’s do something that can help me manage this feeling as best as I can right now.”
  • Sort through your anxiety: Sometimes feelings of anxiety about one issue can trigger other worries in your life, creating a compounding effect. Try to sort through your anxiety to identify what else might be going on for you. Differentiating between various stressors and trying to deal with them separately can reduce anxiety and provide a greater sense of control.
  • Maintain as normal a routine as possible: Engage in activities you enjoy or find relaxing. Consider scheduling movement into your day. Plan for small, achievable goals. Stretch on a foam roller or do some light cardio. End the day with pleasant rituals such as catching up with friends over video or outside in the sunshine. Sticking to a routine can be helpful in times of uncertainty. It can help add structure and a sense of predictability to your day. 
  • Be part of the healing: It’s natural to want to help in some way. Consider organizing or joining a rally of solidarity for Ukraine, donating your time, money, supplies, or volunteering with a local agency. Reach out to friends who may be worried about their family members, or those who may have lived through similar conflicts and who might be struggling right now. Offering a listening ear can make a world of difference.

  • TIP: Want some ideas of where you can donate? Check out this list. The University of Alberta has also established an emergency fund to support areas of greatest need for impacted students and scholars. Anyone wishing to support these efforts can make a donation here.. 
  • Be compassionate with yourself and others: Students, staff, faculty and others around you may all be affected differently by this tragedy. Be compassionate with yourself and others so we can get through this together with a little less fear and a little less frustration. 

  • TIP: At the end of each day take time to reflect on what you are thankful for. Try to be specific and notice new things each day, for example, “I am grateful that it was sunny at lunchtime so I could sit outside.” You could start a gratitude journal or text friends randomly to let them know what you appreciate most about them. Encourage other people in your home to get involved. 

  • Findmeaning in the chaos: There is hope and meaning even in the face of unimaginable pain and suffering. Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl coined the term “tragic optimism” to help us understand that even under the most distressing conditions, we can also look for meaning whether it is through greater appreciation of our relationships, a deeper sense of compassion, or a rewewed sense of purpose. Psychologist Scott Kaufman notes that this is not the same as “toxic positivity” where we try to deny reality, but rather a way to respond to the pain we encounter.

As mentioned above, some people are more impacted by world events than others. People with friends or family in Ukraine, or in other war-torn countries may be at greater risk as they empathize with the imminent threats. For those who have experienced past trauma, war can trigger visceral reminders that exacerbate symptoms or lead to new ones. 

Children and teens can also be particularly vulnerable to the effects of these events. They might be hearing about the war at school, on TV or on social media and as a result they might have very normal feelings and reactions about what they are seeing. They react, in part, to what they see from the adults around them so taking care of yourself can also help you better be there for your children. Have a look at this article from UNICEF about how to talk to your children about conflict and war. 

Consider reaching out to a healthcare professional such as a psychologist, your family physician, or other mental health provider if you notice that how you, or how your children are feeling is impairing your ability to carry out daily tasks and if it has been persisting beyond a couple of weeks.

Sadly, the devastating attacks on Ukraine are one of many global tragedies that lead to this displacement of innocent civilians. Counselling & Clinical Services recognizes all of those who have fled violent conflict in Afghanistan, Ethiopia, Libya, Myanmar, the Central Sahel Region, Syria, Venezuela, Yeman, Honduras, Palestine and other nations around the globe. The refugee crisis is real and enduring and we honour the loss and despair felt by the millions who are impacted daily. 

Written by Maddalena Genovese, Registered Psychologist and Suman Varghese, Registered Psychologist in collaboration with the team at Counselling and Clinical Services. 

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